1.01 - Keeping Score
Where do we even begin? On an empty lot in the far away lands of Willow Creek.
Haru: Are you sure that's even what it's called?
Shhh, please don't make me a noob this early---*runs to go check*---YES I am very right.
Haru, with only her lot--hey could you get off your phone? I'm trying to narrate here.
Haru: One second, I'm checking my cell service.
*waits for a second*
You done yet?
Haru: Hmm? Oh right. Yeah, carry on.
Due to it's emptiness, and her lack of funds (as well as my fear to buy anything because I-don't-even-know-what-I'm-doing) I did the only reasonable thing and sent her to the Librar-
REALLY, Haru?
Haru: Huh? What?
Get off your damn phone!
Haru: *mockingly* 'get off your damn phone!'
So Haru has the Nerd Brain Lifetime Wish-
Haru: *snorts* Don't you mean aspiration?
Haru: You're 0 for 2 now.
Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh? You keeping score?
Haru: *snorting again* For now, yes.
I was really, actually, in no hurry to get Haru married.
Haru: Oh how good to know that my nonexistent freedom will be prolonged by a day.
Oh you better believe it, love.
She did meet a few people, like Mortimer here. For some reason sims don't often sit and chat for a while. She was constantly queuing up "Goodbyes."
Haru: No, those were meant for you, dear. You just didn't take the hint.
You're setting the bar really high for me now, Haru, with your damn wittiness. Please stahp. I don't want to be held to high standards later on.
Haru: boohoo, you might have to create original content then.
I'm ignoring her and enjoying the fact that she can multitask and play chess with this bald, old guy while summoning over this blond, Adonis boy to chat.
Haru: I'm not interested in him either.
That's alright, though! He's not even a young adult...
No one is.
Haru: Did you send me to a retirement home? My gods.
Blond Adonis-Boy: And this, fair maiden, is a computer.
Haru: Oh look, he has an IQ above 20. Lucky me. Does he do tricks too? Roll over, boy! Roll over!
Blond Adonis-Boy: *pretends he doesn't hear her*
Haru: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Sir Red-Head here came over to take on Haru in this grand chess.
Haru: You make it sound so exciting. In reality he sat down, said two words to me, then got up to leave.
Yeah we're having some shit luck meeting people.
I'm also sure him leaving had NOTHING to do with you pulling THAT face.
Haru: Oh hush.
*quietly marks on board*
2 : 1
Haru: I thought you didn't want to keep score?
Huh? What? I have no idea what you're talking about...
Haru: mhm, suuuuure.
Despite her lack of options in friends, she did improve her logic. Don't ask me by how much.
Haru: Don't ask her anything. Trust me, she won't remember. I feel lucky she remembers my name.
Oh hush.
Haru: *marks on board* 3 : 1
One thing I love about parks is how there's chessboards there. Chessboards AND new people.
Haru: ...and no books. I need that for my aspiration too, remember? Also you seem to be forgetting that you signed me up to be an Astronaut. Yes, hello readers. I'll do the hard work my writer forgets to.
I was getting to it-
Haru: *marks on board again* 4 : 1
Blond Adonis-Boy followed Haru to the park, it seems, and even sat down to play chess with her.
Haru: *snorting* You sure you know how to play this game, pretty boy?
Blond Adonis-Boy: See here, my fair maiden?
Blond Adonis-Boy: This here is a table!
Haru: NEXT!
This here is a teen.
Playing in some trash.
As all teenagers do.
#soRelatable
Haru: Get off your high horse and come back to help me find food.
I scoped out the park and not a single soul was kind enough to prepare a group meal to leave out to rot. What selfish assholes these Sims 4 sims seem to be. You can't go to a single park in the Sims 3 without tripping over 5 picnic baskets.
Sure that shit will clutter your game to all hell, but hey! At least they could share!
So I sent her to the Gym to get cleaned up in a shower.
To which she promptly forgot clothing was a thing as she ran home to her empty lot.
Haru: ....
*clears throat* 4 : 2
The next few days I got a little spotty with my photography. Haru's routine was she'd go home to sleep and eat a quick meal from her fridge, then she'd high tail it to the gym to shower before heading to the library to 'Ponder Moves' on the chess table.
Haru: You make yourself sound so expert at this game. I'm sure someone is reading and rolling their eyes like 'how inefficient.'
*Glare intensifies*
Anyways... she was bagging pretty regular promotions.
She met Liberty Lee (HA! See, I remembered someone!).
Haru: Well why don't we just throw a parade in your honor!
Stop being snarky, it's not a good look.
Haru: I wasn't being snarky.
Oh? Well-
Haru: I was being indignant.
She then met... this guy.
Haru: *fiercely clapping* Yeah! You get it writer! Look at you and your incredible memor-oh, oh wait, my bad. Your memory sucks.
Do you REALIZE how many pictures we have to get through? Cut me some slack here.
Haru: *smirking* 5 : 2
Haru: and here we have me - living in the lap of luxury, oh, no wait, my bad. This is a field with a bed in it.
Yup, and it's still yours. ALL yours. Every last grain of dirt.
Haru: What a lucky skunk I am.
Haru: -and this dear readers, this is where my writer decided I was to marry him.
Hey now, it didn't happen like THAT.
Haru: Yes it did. You looked over and said 'oh my god, a young adult! Finally! Bag him, Haru!'
Yes, your point?
Haru: Agh!
Somehow, despite Haru's face, Mr. Mutton Chops was quite charmed by her.
Haru: Well, at least he doesn't have a beer belly like that guy... and he doesn't feel the need to tell me what everything is...
Mhm, he's a catch, isn't he?
Haru: There's a disgusting amount of serious in your tone right now. Glad to know we have such a high bar set for my future husband.
Mr. Mutton Chops: Uh... are you ok?
Haru: Me? Huh? Oh yeah, don't mind me. I'm just... taking mental notes.
Smooth.
Mr. Mutton Chops: Well, you just lost the game-
;ladskgjldaskjga FUCK YOU MAN. I JUST LOST THE GAME TOO.
Haru: What the fuck?
Mr. Mutton Chops: I'm... sorry?
NO, man, you're not sorry ENOUGH! COME ON! *throws fit, kicking the wall with much anger and gusto*
Haru: *opens her mouth to say something* *closes it again* *pretends she doesn't know me*
Haru: I'm sorry, at the full risk of sounding completely off my rocker, I have a petulant child that follows me around and she's throwing a tantrum right now. I meant no offense to your playing skills. Shall we rematch?
Mr. Mutton Chops: Life hardly sounds boring in your world.
Haru: Oh you'd be surprised.
Haru: I DID IT! I WON! TAKE-THAT MR. MUTTON---er I mean, what did you say your name was again?
Mr. Mutton Chops: Erick Starkey.
Haru: Riiiiiight, I totally didn't just botch this...? *finger-guns him*
Mr. Mutton Chops: Be still my heart!
Haru: *stares at fingertips* Woah, I should watch where I aim these suckers. *silently sheathes finger guns*
*snort* God you're dorks. I love it.
So, once again, spotty pictures. Haru went home the next day and Mr. Mutton Chops [Erick] immediately called to ask to hang out. We somehow got him hook, line, and sinker.
Mr. Mutton Chops found her in the bathroom, in her PJs. He was really enamored with her!
Haru: Please don't point out the door and tell me what it is-
Mr. Mutton Chops: *blows a kiss with a wink* I don't know about the door, but you sure are gorgeous.
Haru: *fans self* I think the temperature increased in here...
Nope. I don't have seasons. I'm not that brave. Plus it wasn't even an option at this time and-
Haru: *startled* do you hear that knocking?
It's been a week in game and Haru was almost never home - she only came home to sleep - so when Mr. Mutton Chops came knocking on her door... it brought...
*gulps*
The welcome wagon.
Neighbor: Hello in there! Please don't feel like you need to hide in your bathroom.
Haru: Writer?! LOCK THE DOOR! BARRICADE IT! IT'S NOT SAFE OUT THERE!
It was too late though, Mr. Mutton Chops left the safety of the small box.
Haru had no choice but to go out and rescue him!
Haru: Quick! Grab hold of this rose, I will pull you to safety!
Mr. Mutton Chops: I'd go anywhere with you.
Haru: You know, you're actually really cute.
Yes precisely. Don't judge a book by the cover. He can be de-mutton-ified... but I cannot make someone like Adonis smarter.
Haru: Truth!
Haru continued subtly laying the moves on him, however she was too much of a chicken to make the first move face-to-face.
Haru: no, no, don't show them this!
So she turned, put her back to him, and then confessed her love for him.
Haru:
Well, I mean, it's fitting for her namesake!
Thankfully, though, Mr. Mutton Chops, Erick, reciprocated (unlike the real Haru's 'cool guy' crush), and they cuddled up on her bed.
;alksjagtlasdfuckthat'scute
..........
and then the welcome wagon came and ruined the moment by all sitting on her bed, rubbing their dirty-ass butts all over her clean sheets.
Haru: My sheets!
Mr. Mutton Chops started calling more regularly - and by regularly I mean every second Haru was alone, he'd call and ask to come over. I have no idea why he wanted to hang out on her empty lot... actually I do.
He was a homeless sim, so even an empty lot with amenities was probably better than his homelessness, drifting lifestyle as a Librarian.
Haru, after much urging from me, made her move and slapped a kiss right on dat boy's Mutton Chopped face!
It was very effective.
Haru: Hush!
*silently* 5 : 3
Haru: HEY!
Don't you 'hey' me! I've given you MANY free passes over Mr. Mutton Chops. Don't make me go back to collect now-
Haru: *grumbles but returns to her love affairs*
Mhm, that's what I thought.
I have Haru ask Mr. Mutton Chops to be her boyfriend.
And they both conked out asleep in the bed.
Unfortunately Mr. Mutton Chops has weird-ass hours he has to uphold in the Library, so he was gone the next morning by the time Haru rolled out of the shower. I sent her to the Library to stalk him.
And it was there that they became Best Friends Forever!
*snort*
Haru: Are you making fun of me?
..... 5 : 4
Haru: *gives me the stink eye*
Then Mr. Mutton Chops pulled this on me and my knees got weak for Haru.
Like, 'ok let me just casually announce how important you are to me while I'm at work. No big deal!'
ldkaj;sldgkjas
I'm such a sucker for love.
Haru stayed and chatted with him until her needs damn near gave out, so I sent her home.
She ate, but the lot was big, empty and lonely, so she soon found herself back at the Library.
Mr. Mutton Chops wasn't there though...?
Oh there he is--
...stomping this way?
Haru: Oh my! I better go cheer him up!
-and she did just that!
So... what was that about your nonexistent freedom?
Haru: *purposefully ignores me*
5 : 5
Mr. Mutton Chops came by the house every. Single. Night. He was falling hard and fast for Haru.
... and Haru fell hard and fast for him too.
....
........
I cannot believe... they fist pump... when agreeing to woohoo.
God it's kind of cute though. They're such dorks.
You know, Haru and I made a deal at the start of this that she wouldn't move someone in until she was level 5 in her career. She wasn't at this point, but we knew it was going to be a bit before that would happen and Erick was already practically living at her place.
It was this morning when he left, saying he had to go - then he immediately called her as soon as he was gone asking to come back over - that I realized there was no point in waiting.
Haru: So I don't have much to offer, but... how about you move in with me?
Spoiler alert: he said yes.
Now may I present to you - Mr. Erick Starkey... sans Mutton Chops:
His traits are: Neat, Bookworm, and Genius.
The best part about him?
His Soulmates aspiration.
Haru: I kind of forgot why we were keeping score, Writer, but you know what?
Hmm?
Haru: *smiling* I think I won.
Haru: Are you sure that's even what it's called?
Shhh, please don't make me a noob this early---*runs to go check*---YES I am very right.
Haru, with only her lot--hey could you get off your phone? I'm trying to narrate here.
Haru: One second, I'm checking my cell service.
*waits for a second*
You done yet?
Haru: Hmm? Oh right. Yeah, carry on.
Due to it's emptiness, and her lack of funds (as well as my fear to buy anything because I-don't-even-know-what-I'm-doing) I did the only reasonable thing and sent her to the Librar-
REALLY, Haru?
Haru: Huh? What?
Get off your damn phone!
Haru: *mockingly* 'get off your damn phone!'
So Haru has the Nerd Brain Lifetime Wish-
Haru: *snorts* Don't you mean aspiration?
Haru: You're 0 for 2 now.
Oh, so that's how it's gonna be, huh? You keeping score?
Haru: *snorting again* For now, yes.
I was really, actually, in no hurry to get Haru married.
Haru: Oh how good to know that my nonexistent freedom will be prolonged by a day.
Oh you better believe it, love.
She did meet a few people, like Mortimer here. For some reason sims don't often sit and chat for a while. She was constantly queuing up "Goodbyes."
Haru: No, those were meant for you, dear. You just didn't take the hint.
You're setting the bar really high for me now, Haru, with your damn wittiness. Please stahp. I don't want to be held to high standards later on.
Haru: boohoo, you might have to create original content then.
I'm ignoring her and enjoying the fact that she can multitask and play chess with this bald, old guy while summoning over this blond, Adonis boy to chat.
Haru: I'm not interested in him either.
That's alright, though! He's not even a young adult...
No one is.
Haru: Did you send me to a retirement home? My gods.
Blond Adonis-Boy: And this, fair maiden, is a computer.
Haru: Oh look, he has an IQ above 20. Lucky me. Does he do tricks too? Roll over, boy! Roll over!
Blond Adonis-Boy: *pretends he doesn't hear her*
Haru: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Sir Red-Head here came over to take on Haru in this grand chess.
Haru: You make it sound so exciting. In reality he sat down, said two words to me, then got up to leave.
Yeah we're having some shit luck meeting people.
I'm also sure him leaving had NOTHING to do with you pulling THAT face.
Haru: Oh hush.
*quietly marks on board*
2 : 1
Haru: I thought you didn't want to keep score?
Huh? What? I have no idea what you're talking about...
Haru: mhm, suuuuure.
Despite her lack of options in friends, she did improve her logic. Don't ask me by how much.
Haru: Don't ask her anything. Trust me, she won't remember. I feel lucky she remembers my name.
Oh hush.
Haru: *marks on board* 3 : 1
One thing I love about parks is how there's chessboards there. Chessboards AND new people.
Haru: ...and no books. I need that for my aspiration too, remember? Also you seem to be forgetting that you signed me up to be an Astronaut. Yes, hello readers. I'll do the hard work my writer forgets to.
I was getting to it-
Haru: *marks on board again* 4 : 1
Blond Adonis-Boy followed Haru to the park, it seems, and even sat down to play chess with her.
Haru: *snorting* You sure you know how to play this game, pretty boy?
Blond Adonis-Boy: See here, my fair maiden?
Blond Adonis-Boy: This here is a table!
Haru: NEXT!
This here is a teen.
Playing in some trash.
As all teenagers do.
#soRelatable
Haru: Get off your high horse and come back to help me find food.
I scoped out the park and not a single soul was kind enough to prepare a group meal to leave out to rot. What selfish assholes these Sims 4 sims seem to be. You can't go to a single park in the Sims 3 without tripping over 5 picnic baskets.
Sure that shit will clutter your game to all hell, but hey! At least they could share!
So I sent her to the Gym to get cleaned up in a shower.
To which she promptly forgot clothing was a thing as she ran home to her empty lot.
Haru: ....
*clears throat* 4 : 2
The next few days I got a little spotty with my photography. Haru's routine was she'd go home to sleep and eat a quick meal from her fridge, then she'd high tail it to the gym to shower before heading to the library to 'Ponder Moves' on the chess table.
Haru: You make yourself sound so expert at this game. I'm sure someone is reading and rolling their eyes like 'how inefficient.'
*Glare intensifies*
Anyways... she was bagging pretty regular promotions.
She met Liberty Lee (HA! See, I remembered someone!).
Haru: Well why don't we just throw a parade in your honor!
Stop being snarky, it's not a good look.
Haru: I wasn't being snarky.
Oh? Well-
Haru: I was being indignant.
She then met... this guy.
Haru: *fiercely clapping* Yeah! You get it writer! Look at you and your incredible memor-oh, oh wait, my bad. Your memory sucks.
Do you REALIZE how many pictures we have to get through? Cut me some slack here.
Haru: *smirking* 5 : 2
Haru: and here we have me - living in the lap of luxury, oh, no wait, my bad. This is a field with a bed in it.
Yup, and it's still yours. ALL yours. Every last grain of dirt.
Haru: What a lucky skunk I am.
Haru: -and this dear readers, this is where my writer decided I was to marry him.
Hey now, it didn't happen like THAT.
Haru: Yes it did. You looked over and said 'oh my god, a young adult! Finally! Bag him, Haru!'
Yes, your point?
Haru: Agh!
Somehow, despite Haru's face, Mr. Mutton Chops was quite charmed by her.
Haru: Well, at least he doesn't have a beer belly like that guy... and he doesn't feel the need to tell me what everything is...
Mhm, he's a catch, isn't he?
Haru: There's a disgusting amount of serious in your tone right now. Glad to know we have such a high bar set for my future husband.
Mr. Mutton Chops: Uh... are you ok?
Haru: Me? Huh? Oh yeah, don't mind me. I'm just... taking mental notes.
Smooth.
Mr. Mutton Chops: Well, you just lost the game-
;ladskgjldaskjga FUCK YOU MAN. I JUST LOST THE GAME TOO.
Haru: What the fuck?
Mr. Mutton Chops: I'm... sorry?
NO, man, you're not sorry ENOUGH! COME ON! *throws fit, kicking the wall with much anger and gusto*
Haru: *opens her mouth to say something* *closes it again* *pretends she doesn't know me*
Haru: I'm sorry, at the full risk of sounding completely off my rocker, I have a petulant child that follows me around and she's throwing a tantrum right now. I meant no offense to your playing skills. Shall we rematch?
Mr. Mutton Chops: Life hardly sounds boring in your world.
Haru: Oh you'd be surprised.
Haru: I DID IT! I WON! TAKE-THAT MR. MUTTON---er I mean, what did you say your name was again?
Mr. Mutton Chops: Erick Starkey.
Haru: Riiiiiight, I totally didn't just botch this...? *finger-guns him*
Mr. Mutton Chops: Be still my heart!
Haru: *stares at fingertips* Woah, I should watch where I aim these suckers. *silently sheathes finger guns*
*snort* God you're dorks. I love it.
So, once again, spotty pictures. Haru went home the next day and Mr. Mutton Chops [Erick] immediately called to ask to hang out. We somehow got him hook, line, and sinker.
Mr. Mutton Chops found her in the bathroom, in her PJs. He was really enamored with her!
Haru: Please don't point out the door and tell me what it is-
Mr. Mutton Chops: *blows a kiss with a wink* I don't know about the door, but you sure are gorgeous.
Haru: *fans self* I think the temperature increased in here...
Nope. I don't have seasons. I'm not that brave. Plus it wasn't even an option at this time and-
Haru: *startled* do you hear that knocking?
It's been a week in game and Haru was almost never home - she only came home to sleep - so when Mr. Mutton Chops came knocking on her door... it brought...
*gulps*
The welcome wagon.
Neighbor: Hello in there! Please don't feel like you need to hide in your bathroom.
Haru: Writer?! LOCK THE DOOR! BARRICADE IT! IT'S NOT SAFE OUT THERE!
It was too late though, Mr. Mutton Chops left the safety of the small box.
Haru had no choice but to go out and rescue him!
Haru: Quick! Grab hold of this rose, I will pull you to safety!
Mr. Mutton Chops: I'd go anywhere with you.
Haru: You know, you're actually really cute.
Yes precisely. Don't judge a book by the cover. He can be de-mutton-ified... but I cannot make someone like Adonis smarter.
Haru: Truth!
Haru continued subtly laying the moves on him, however she was too much of a chicken to make the first move face-to-face.
Haru: no, no, don't show them this!
So she turned, put her back to him, and then confessed her love for him.
Haru:
Well, I mean, it's fitting for her namesake!
Thankfully, though, Mr. Mutton Chops, Erick, reciprocated (unlike the real Haru's 'cool guy' crush), and they cuddled up on her bed.
;alksjagtlasdfuckthat'scute
..........
and then the welcome wagon came and ruined the moment by all sitting on her bed, rubbing their dirty-ass butts all over her clean sheets.
Haru: My sheets!
Mr. Mutton Chops started calling more regularly - and by regularly I mean every second Haru was alone, he'd call and ask to come over. I have no idea why he wanted to hang out on her empty lot... actually I do.
He was a homeless sim, so even an empty lot with amenities was probably better than his homelessness, drifting lifestyle as a Librarian.
Haru, after much urging from me, made her move and slapped a kiss right on dat boy's Mutton Chopped face!
It was very effective.
Haru: Hush!
*silently* 5 : 3
Haru: HEY!
Don't you 'hey' me! I've given you MANY free passes over Mr. Mutton Chops. Don't make me go back to collect now-
Haru: *grumbles but returns to her love affairs*
Mhm, that's what I thought.
I have Haru ask Mr. Mutton Chops to be her boyfriend.
And they both conked out asleep in the bed.
Unfortunately Mr. Mutton Chops has weird-ass hours he has to uphold in the Library, so he was gone the next morning by the time Haru rolled out of the shower. I sent her to the Library to stalk him.
And it was there that they became Best Friends Forever!
*snort*
Haru: Are you making fun of me?
..... 5 : 4
Haru: *gives me the stink eye*
Then Mr. Mutton Chops pulled this on me and my knees got weak for Haru.
Like, 'ok let me just casually announce how important you are to me while I'm at work. No big deal!'
ldkaj;sldgkjas
I'm such a sucker for love.
Haru stayed and chatted with him until her needs damn near gave out, so I sent her home.
She ate, but the lot was big, empty and lonely, so she soon found herself back at the Library.
Mr. Mutton Chops wasn't there though...?
Oh there he is--
...stomping this way?
Haru: Oh my! I better go cheer him up!
-and she did just that!
So... what was that about your nonexistent freedom?
Haru: *purposefully ignores me*
5 : 5
Mr. Mutton Chops came by the house every. Single. Night. He was falling hard and fast for Haru.
... and Haru fell hard and fast for him too.
....
........
I cannot believe... they fist pump... when agreeing to woohoo.
God it's kind of cute though. They're such dorks.
You know, Haru and I made a deal at the start of this that she wouldn't move someone in until she was level 5 in her career. She wasn't at this point, but we knew it was going to be a bit before that would happen and Erick was already practically living at her place.
It was this morning when he left, saying he had to go - then he immediately called her as soon as he was gone asking to come back over - that I realized there was no point in waiting.
Haru: So I don't have much to offer, but... how about you move in with me?
Spoiler alert: he said yes.
Now may I present to you - Mr. Erick Starkey... sans Mutton Chops:
His traits are: Neat, Bookworm, and Genius.
The best part about him?
His Soulmates aspiration.
Haru: I kind of forgot why we were keeping score, Writer, but you know what?
Hmm?
Haru: *smiling* I think I won.
Haaaaaaa my god this is so cute hahahahahah shitim weak for it
ReplyDeleteHaru and Erick got me right in those love feelsheehehhe
This was super fun to read!! Erick is adorable and it's nice to see Haru a bit softer when she's hanging around him. This bit made me laugh too!
ReplyDeleteHaru: I wasn't being snarky.
Oh? Well-
Haru: I was being indignant.
Well played Haru, well played